Building secure attachments
Returning for comfort and reassurance
Children develop secure attachments when they know they can return to trusted adults for comfort and reassurance.
- Children seek comfort and reassurance from trusted adults during distress, uncertainty or change.
- Returning to trusted adults helps children feel calm, safe and supported.
- Experiences of comfort and reassurance help children learn that difficult feelings can be managed.
- Over time, children develop confidence to cope with challenges and separations.
Through a child's eyes...
“When I'm upset or worried, I know I can come back to you for comfort and reassurance.”
In everyday moments...
Children often return to trusted adults for comfort and reassurance during challenging moments. These experiences help children feel safe, understood and emotionally supported.
Simple ideas to try
- Seeking a cuddle after a fall or disappointment.
- Returning to an adult in unfamiliar situations.
- Looking for reassurance during times of change.
- Seeking comfort when feeling sad, worried or overwhelmed.
Building through relationships...
Children learn to seek comfort when adults respond warmly and consistently to their emotional needs. Sensitive responses help children trust that support will be available when needed.
Simple ideas to try
- Respond calmly when children seek comfort.
- Acknowledge and validate children's feelings.
- Offer comfort and reassurance during difficult moments.
- Remain emotionally available during times of distress.
Learning through play...
Play provides opportunities for children and adults to strengthen relationships and enjoy shared experiences. Through play, children experience connection, joy and a sense of being understood.
Simple ideas to try
- Use play to reconnect after difficult experiences.
- Join children in calming and comforting play experiences.
- Follow children's lead as they revisit experiences through play.
- Create opportunities for shared enjoyment and laughter.
Creating supportive spaces...
Children are more likely to develop secure attachments when environments feel safe, predictable and welcoming. Familiar people, routines and places help children feel secure and supported.
Simple ideas to try
- Create calm, predictable environments.
- Establish familiar routines and rituals.
- Provide quiet spaces for comfort and reconnection.
- Include comforting objects or familiar items when appropriate.
Supporting children across contexts...
At home ...
Family relationships provide children with a safe haven during times of stress, uncertainty and emotional discomfort. Everyday experiences of comfort and reassurance help children develop emotional security.
Simple ideas to try
- Respond sensitively when children seek comfort.
- Reassure children during times of change or uncertainty.
- Create family rituals that promote connection and security.
- Offer comfort while gradually supporting children's coping skills
In early learning settings...
Warm, responsive relationships with educators help children feel safe seeking comfort and reassurance throughout the day. These relationships are particularly important during transitions and times of stress.
Simple ideas to try
- Develop trusting relationships with children and families.
- Be available when children seek comfort or support.
- Support children during separations and transitions.
- Work with families to understand children's individual comfort needs.
Try this today...
- Notice when your child seeks comfort or reassurance throughout the day.
- Pause and offer comfort before moving straight to problem-solving.
- Create a calming ritual that helps your child reconnect and feel secure.
- Reflect on what helps your child feel comforted, settled and supported.
- Reassure your child that difficult feelings can be managed together