Feeling safe and secure
Separation and transitions
Children manage goodbyes and change more easily with warmth and preparation
- A predictable goodbye settles most children
- Big feelings at drop-off are normal
- Children cope better when change is expected
- Confidence grows through many small goodbyes
Through a child's eyes...
“Goodbyes are hard, but I can do it when I know you come back after rest time.”
In everyday moments...
Children move between people, places and activities many times a day. Each change asks them to leave something familiar and step into something new. Knowing what is coming, and parting in the same way each time, takes the sharpness out of that moment.
Simple ideas to try
- Give a gentle warning before a change begins
- Keep the goodbye brief and warm
- Describe what comes next in simple words
- Let your child carry a comfort object from home
- Link your return to a part of the day
Building through relationships...
Children separate best when they trust the adults on both sides of the goodbye. A confident farewell tells a child that this place is safe and that someone here will care for them until you return.
Simple ideas to try
- Hand over to a familiar educator each morning
- Stay calm even when there are tears
- Acknowledge the wish for you to stay
- Always say goodbye rather than slipping away quietly
- Welcome your child back with unhurried attention
Learning through play...
Hiding and finding games let children rehearse goodbyes and reunions on their own terms. Stories about leaving and coming back do the same work more slowly, and can be read as many times as a child needs.
Simple ideas to try
- Play hide and seek or chasing games together
- Read stories about starting somewhere new
- Role play drop-off with dolls or puppets
- Let your child pack and unpack their own bag
- Practise short separations at home first
Creating supportive spaces...
A space that shows children what is coming makes change feel less sudden. Clear arrival areas, visible routines and a place to pause all help children move from one part of the day to the next.
Simple ideas to try
- Set up an uncluttered spot for goodbyes
- Use picture cards to show the day ahead
- Keep a family photo where your child can see it
- Use a song or bell to signal a change
- Offer a quiet corner for the first few minutes
Supporting children across contexts...
At home ...
Families know the small things that help at the door, the phrase that eases their child in and the goodbye that works best. Sharing those details means a child meets the same rhythm wherever the morning begins, and change feels far less unsettling.
Simple ideas to try
- Talk through tomorrow's plan the night before
- Wake early so mornings are not rushed
- Use the same goodbye words every day
- Tell educators what settles your child
- Allow extra time on days that feel harder
In early learning settings...
Educators hold the other end of the goodbye, meeting each child as they come in and staying close until they have settled. When families and educators agree how arrivals and changes will happen, children find the same pattern in both places and learn that leaving and returning are safe.
Simple ideas to try
- Greet every child by name as they arrive
- Agree a consistent handover with each family
- Follow the same order of activities each day
- Sit alongside children who find mornings hard
- Report back on how the morning went
Try this today...
- Talk through the goodbye before you arrive
- Say your goodbye once, then walk away
- Name the feeling out loud before you leave
- Point out the spot where you will meet again
- Explain who will care for them until pick-up