Feeling safe and secure
Feeling seen and heard
Children thrive when their words, feelings and quiet signals are noticed
- Being noticed helps children feel they matter
- Children communicate long before they find words
- Close listening builds confidence and self-worth
- Quieter children need more time to answer
Through a child's eyes...
“I like it when you look at me and listen to my story.”
In everyday moments...
Children show us what they need through words, faces, gestures and quiet moments. When adults stop to notice and respond, children learn that their words are worth saying.
Simple ideas to try
- Pause and listen before offering an answer
- Watch faces and gestures, not just words
- Repeat back what your child has said
- Use names warmly during greetings and goodbyes
- Give a few minutes of undivided attention
Building through relationships...
Children feel heard when adults take their ideas and worries seriously. A warm, unhurried answer tells a child that what they wonder about matters to someone else.
Simple ideas to try
- Get down low and make gentle eye contact
- Invite them to tell you more
- Wait quietly while your child finds their words
- Name the feeling you can see
- Come back later to something they said
Learning through play...
In play, children show what is on their mind before they can explain it. When adults join in and follow the child rather than steering, what surfaces is often the very thing that has been hard to say.
Simple ideas to try
- Let the story go where your child takes it
- Use puppets or soft toys to open conversations
- Draw together and ask about their picture
- Play turn-taking games that need careful listening
- Comment on what you notice rather than questioning
Creating supportive spaces...
Noise and hurry make it hard for a child to be heard the first time. Smaller groups, softer surfaces and fewer competing voices give quieter children a way in.
Simple ideas to try
- Set up a cosy corner for two to talk
- Display children's own words beside their artwork
- Turn down background noise at busy times
- Offer picture cards for children with fewer words
- Split large groups at story time
Supporting children across contexts...
At home ...
Home is usually where children first try out saying what they think and feel. Families know the small ways their child asks to be noticed, whether that is a tug on a sleeve, a story told twice or a sudden silence. Passing that on gives educators the same cues to work with.
Simple ideas to try
- Tell educators how your child asks for attention
- Mention worries your child raised at bedtime
- Set aside ten minutes just for listening
- Let your child finish without being corrected
- Ask about their day when nobody is rushing
In early learning settings...
Children feel recognised when the adults around them read the same small signs. If a child's questions, gestures and half-finished sentences are taken seriously at home and at the service, that child starts offering more of what they think.
Simple ideas to try
- Tell families what their child talked about today
- Notice the children who never interrupt
- Build a short one-to-one check-in into each day
- Write down children's questions and return to them
- Leave a longer silence after asking a question
Try this today...
- Wait three seconds before you answer
- Ask what they meant instead of guessing
- Put your phone down while they talk
- Listen to one story without giving advice
- Bring up their morning news at dinner